The Brief | $7 a Lobster Tail. That's What They're Actually Mad About.
The Pentagon lobster "scandal" has a history lesson attached — plus Iran's minefields, Iranian soccer players on the run, and a hate crime in the most tolerant zip code in America.
Wednesday! Hump day!
I know I disappeared. I am sorry, but I was overwhelmed in the throes of home DIYdom, and it all took place in my office. I had this delusion that it could be completed in one weekend. It took two weeks, and it’s still not done, but it’s done enough for me to be back in my office.
This means the newsletters shall resume, and I will provide a full breakdown of my new office in this week’s edition of the Sunday Desk.
But let’s get into the news.
In today’s Brief:
The U.S. just sank 16 Iranian mine-laying vessels in the Strait of Hormuz — and Trump somehow had “no reports” of mines right before we blew them up
Pete Hegseth is being crucified for lobster tail that deployed service members have been eating since the Bush administration — and the math works out to $7 a tail
Six Iranian women soccer players are hiding from their own government in Brisbane — thanks in part to one of their teammates who told the Iranian embassy where they were
A man was beaten on the ground while someone called him a “f***ing Jew” at a San Jose shopping center — in the most tolerant region in America, allegedly
The president is personally gifting $145 Florsheim oxfords to cabinet members and asking “Did you get the shoes?” at cabinet meetings. We are not making this up.
Iran Update: Mines, Missiles, and “Ruthless Precision”
The Strait of Hormuz — which carries roughly one-fifth of the world’s daily crude oil supply — is now an active military zone. Iran has begun laying mines in the strait, with intelligence sources reporting a few dozen mines placed in recent days. Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps still retains 80-90% of its mine-laying capacity, meaning this could get significantly worse.
Trump responded with a post on Truth Social saying he had “no reports” of mines, then announced we just destroyed the boats laying them. The U.S. military obliterated 16 Iranian mine-laying vessels near the strait on Tuesday. CENTCOM confirmed the strikes on X, and Secretary Hegseth followed up, noting that at Trump’s direction, U.S. forces had been “wiping them out with ruthless precision.”
The bigger picture: Nearly 15 million barrels per day of crude — plus another 4.5 million bpd of refined fuels — are effectively stranded in the Gulf right now. Iraq and Kuwait have no alternative export route. Oil has been swinging wildly between $80 and $120 a barrel. Meanwhile, Trump confirmed the U.S. Navy has not yet escorted any tankers through Hormuz, though Karoline Leavitt said Tuesday that option is “absolutely” on the table.
Trump has also warned Iran it will face consequences “at a level never before seen” if mines are not removed. He simultaneously suggested the war could end “very soon” in a CBS News interview, which is Trump’s classic strategy of negotiation via contradictory public statements.
What to watch: Whether Trump’s mixed messaging is a strategy (keep Tehran guessing) or improvisation. The oil market is treating it like the latter. Israel has been striking regime headquarters in Tehran and Tabriz, Iranian ballistic missiles are still flying, and ministers on both sides are now saying regime change could take a full year. “Very soon” is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
CNN had a bad day yesterday
The Lobster Non-Scandal: Or, How the Left Learned to Hate Ribeye
Let me tell you about the most outraged I’ve been on behalf of deployed service members this week.
TMZ — yes, TMZ — ran with a breathless headline: “Pete Hegseth Reportedly Blew Billions on Shellfish, Steak, Fruit Baskets, Furniture.” The implication being that Hegseth personally ordered the lobster bisque and kicked back with king crab while Rome burned.
Here’s what actually happened, per the watchdog group Open the Books: The Pentagon spent $93 billion in September 2025 — its most expensive fiscal year-end month since the Bush era. For comparison, Lloyd Austin’s DoD did $79.1 billion in September 2024, which at the time was itself a record going back to 2008. That includes $6.9 million on lobster tail, $15.1 million on ribeye steak, $2 million on Alaskan king crab, and $1 million on salmon. There was also nearly $140K in donuts, which, respect.
Why? Because the federal government operates on a use-it-or-lose-it budget system. Every agency, from the DoW to the Department of Education, burns through remaining funds before the fiscal year closes on September 30 — or Congress uses underspending as justification to cut next year’s allocation. This is not a Hegseth invention. This is not a scandal. This is Washington’s oldest and most bipartisan tradition.
Historical context matters here: That Open the Books report about September 2024 — under Biden’s Sec. of Defense Lloyd Austin — documented $79.1 billion in Pentagon contracts in a single month, including $6.1 million on raw lobster tail ordered 147 times. The same patterns. Going further back, service members have talked about morale meals — proper hot food after weeks on MREs — for decades. This is not new. This is not Hegseth.
And let’s do some quick math: $7 million in lobster tail across approximately 1 million enlisted service members comes out to $7 per tail. That is a screaming deal. Sounds like a solid use of the defense budget to me.
The real story is that the Left is running the same playbook they use on everything: find a number that sounds big, strip all context, and attach it to someone they want to destroy. Remember when Republicans “voted to cut SNAP benefits”? What actually happened was that Congress declined to extend a temporary COVID-era increase that was never meant to be permanent. Same trick, different props. The goal isn’t accountability — it’s narrative.
If Democrats are suddenly concerned about Pentagon waste, where was this energy during the $79 billion Austin month? Or the seventh consecutive failed DoD audit? Funny how the outrage has a partisan timestamp.
A Funeral in Nashville
His name hasn’t been widely reported. He was a veteran. He died alone, with no known family members left in the world.
In most cities, that’s where the story ends. A quiet burial, a few government forms filed, a grave marker placed in a row with others. Nobody there. Nobody watching. Nobody to say goodbye to a man who, at some point, raised his right hand and swore an oath to this country.
But not in Nashville.
Someone found out. Word spread, and then something happened that the algorithm didn’t manufacture, and no PR firm organized.
Hundreds of strangers showed up.
They came in boots and baseball caps. They came in dress shirts. They came because a veteran was going to be buried without witness, and that felt like something they simply could not allow. Not in their city. Not on their watch.
No news crews were tipped off in advance. No politician showed up for a photo. Nobody got credit for it.
I keep coming back to that story when people ask me whether this country still has a soul. Because here’s the thing, the debate over the Pentagon’s lobster tail and the Senate’s procedural maneuvering and whatever cable news is shrieking about this week, all of that is real and it matters. But it exists in a completely different America than the one that packed a funeral home in Nashville for a man they’d never met.
The lobster debate is, at its core, about how we fund the care of service members. Nashville is about how we feel about them, down in the marrow, without being asked, without an audience.
Both things are true at the same time. And one of them tells you more about who we actually are.
Rest easy, soldier. Turns out you had more family than you knew.
Iranian Soccer Players: The Escape That Got Complicated
Last week, seven members of Iran’s women’s soccer team — in Australia for the Asian Cup — were granted asylum by the Australian government. The players had refused to sing the Iranian national anthem before their opening match. In Iran, that’s not a protest — that’s a potential death sentence. The regime promptly branded them traitors on state media.
Australian Home Affairs Minister Tony Burke confirmed that six players and one staff member took up the government’s offer of permanent visas after private meetings, without Iranian minders in the room, facilitated by a heavy AFP police presence.
Then one of the seven changed her mind. And in doing so, she told the Iranian embassy their secret location in Brisbane, forcing Australian Federal Police to immediately relocate the other six. Burke told Parliament Wednesday he gave the instruction to move people the moment he found out.
The Iranian Football Federation called it a “hostage” situation and blamed Trump, who had publicly called on Australia to offer the players asylum. The regime’s response to women fleeing a theocracy? “Don’t worry — Iran awaits you with open arms.”
Sure it does.
San Jose: An Attack the Media is Keeping on The Down Low
On Sunday, March 8th, two men were attacked at Santana Row in San Jose, a popular outdoor shopping district. Three suspects approached them, the confrontation turned physical, and according to one of the victims, one of the attackers repeated “f***ing Jew” while beating him to the ground. Per JCRC Bay Area, a second video from a closer vantage point confirms the assault.
San Jose Police are investigating it as a possible hate crime. San Jose Mayor Matt Mahan called it “deeply disturbing.” Congressman Ro Khanna said the attack was “horrific” and called for the perpetrators to be prosecuted.
What’s notable here isn’t just the attack itself — it’s the context. This is Silicon Valley, a region that regularly lectures the rest of the country about tolerance and inclusion. It’s also a region where the line between “anti-Israel protest” and straightforward antisemitism has apparently gotten blurry enough that people are getting beaten in shopping centers on a Sunday afternoon.
The suspects fled before police arrived. Investigation is ongoing.
And Now, a Dispatch from the Oval Office Gift Shop
The Wall Street Journal ran a delightful piece this week revealing that President Trump has become the nation’s most enthusiastic shoe salesman. He’s been gifting Florsheim leather oxfords — a classic American brand, $145 a pair — to cabinet members, lawmakers, White House advisers, and random VIPs. He pays for them himself. He guesses your size in front of you. He asks, “Did you get the shoes?” at cabinet meetings. Tucker Carlson got brown wingtips over lunch. JD Vance got a size 13. Scott Bessent has a labeled box waiting.
One cabinet secretary was reportedly forced to shelve his Louis Vuittons and is “grumbling” about it. Another White House official said, “everybody’s afraid not to wear them.”
We’re out here trying to navigate a war in Iran, and the shoe-salesman-in-chief is personally tracking foot traffic. In all seriousness, this is the most endearing story of the week, and the fact that it’s a $145 American-made brand rather than anything imported should tell you something about how Trump operates even in the details.
Quick Rundown
SAVE America Act teeters in Senate. Senate Majority Leader John Thune is forcing a vote on the SAVE Act, the voter eligibility bill requiring proof of citizenship, via a talking filibuster. Sen. Bernie Moreno (R-OH) has acknowledged that “3 or 4 Republicans” may break ranks. Names, please.
White House tells House Republicans: stop saying “mass deportations.” Axios broke the scoop that WH Deputy Chief of Staff James Blair privately urged members at their Doral retreat to shift messaging toward “violent criminal aliens” only, citing polling showing 49% of Americans find the current approach too aggressive. A WH official pushed back to Fox News, saying “nobody is changing the Administration’s immigration enforcement agenda.” Whether that’s messaging discipline or an internal rift, the optics of the White House asking its own party to stop using its own campaign slogan is... something.
Georgia’s 14th CD special election heads to a runoff. Decision Desk HQ projects Republican Clayton Fuller and Democrat Shawn Harris advancing to a runoff for Marjorie Taylor Greene’s former seat. This one matters for House math — watch it closely.
Oil prices spike and yo-yo. Crude swung between $80 and nearly $120 a barrel in 48 hours as the Strait of Hormuz situation escalated and Trump alternately threatened Iran and hinted the war could end soon. Energy markets are not fans of ambiguity.
Talk to Me
Two questions this week:
The White House is telling House Republicans to drop “mass deportations” as a slogan heading into the midterms. Is this smart political recalibration — or is it a sign that the base is about to get very unhappy, very fast?
The Pentagon’s use-it-or-lose-it budget culture produces billions in end-of-year splurges every single year, regardless of who’s in charge. Is this a fixable policy problem — or is it just how Washington will always work?
Drop a reply. I read them.
See you Friday. Stay skeptical.
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Trump and co was supposed to change all the spending, not join in on the party!! They do it, so we damn sure are going to do it doesn’t cut it anymore!